Monday 4 February 2013

Russell Athletic

NB: This blog contains very offensive language throughout.

“42 year old female,? Ethonolic, *LOCALITY MATCH* Police required, known violent”

Friday nights are always busy! Without fail! This is partly because of the higher call volume and partly because there are less ambulances. I know it seems strange to have less ambulance when there are more calls but that’s just how it is. Less staff work weekends because of an old fashioned rotaring system and the staff that do only about a 1/3 do nights! That means come the weekend, the service is stretched to bursting point and the people who pay the price are the crews that ARE working! 

There was a job waiting for us the second we officially came on duty. Obviously, we started earlier than that, not being paid, so we could ensure the vehicle had all the kit it needed for a 12 hour shift. Having to do this every shift is a bone of contention amongst staff but we don’t want to be in a situation where a patient needs something and we don’t have it! That argument will probably grumble on for eternity! Anyway, the first few jobs went without incident. Slowly but surely we had been dragged into a grim part of town which was pretty typical of a weekend!

Within 3 seconds of coming up available we were sent the next one. Aaah, nothing like a violent drunk to get the weekend going. When a ‘?’ proceeds ‘ethonolic’ 99/100 it means they ARE indeed drunk. Joy! We headed round to the estate and arrive the same time as the police van. Out climbed 6 of our finest police officers all looking rather miffed to be here. 

“Evening all!”

“You been here before?”


“You probably won’t be needed, they’ll both be pissed and arguing about something. They usually are!”


We all stood patiently by the door waiting to be buzzed in. Eventually the intercom was answered and the door opened. As we walked in we heard a muffled ‘Fuck you’ in the background! Here we go! We made out way up to the third floor and along the external corridor. The door was open, but we heard the argument as soon as we made it onto the landing.

“You fuckin’ cunt. Come back ‘ere”

“Pipe down woman”

“You what?”

“Pipe down, I’m gonna go ‘ome now”

“No, no your’e not, I fuckin’ paid for ‘em”

“Sit down and shut up”

“You’re gonna get arrested. Get him arrested”

I looked at her blankly.

“Shut up you old hag”

“Tell ‘im to take that top off, I paid for it”

“Shut up you slag, it’s mine”

“It’s mine and you know it. Gimme my fuckin’ jumper”

“Sod off”

“Officer, arrest him, it’s my fuckin’ jumper”

The officer looked blankly, shaking his head slightly

“I ain’t done anythin’ to be arrested for you nut job”

“You ‘av. You’re wasting the cops time and the paramedics”

“You fuckin’ called em’”

“You won’t gimme my fuckin’ jumper back”

“You owe me a tenner anyway”

“Oh fuck off, gimme my jumper you nonse”

“You what? I’ll clump ya, ya cunt”

“Nonse. Fuckin’ nonse. Dirty little cunt”

“Fuck you”

“No fuck you. Gimme my fuckin’ Russell Athletic jumper and fuck off”

“Officer. She’s unstable. Arrest her. I apologise for her behavior”

“Arrest him, that nonse has my fuckin’ jumper”

“It’s my fuckin’ ju....”

“RIGHT! Both of you, pack it in. We have much more important places to be and i’m sure the ambulance do to. You are both wasting everyones time, now you get out, I don’t care who’s jumper it is. You, stay here, don’t call the police, don’t call the ambulance. It’s the same story every night, how about, for once, you don’t see each other. If I hear a peep from either of you, you’ll both be arrested for a breach of peace, wasting police time and anything else I can think of at the time. Do we both understand?”

“But it’s my fuckin’ jumper.”

“I don’t care.”

“You’re all a bunch of cunts.” *spits at police officer*

*gets bundled to the floor* 

*gets arrested* 

“Told you she was a silly cunt”

“I thought I told you to leave”

*Sticks up middle finger and spits* “Fuck you ya cunt”

*gets bundled to the floor*

*gets arrested*

We never said a word. Just watched and enjoyed the show! Just another friday night in the city! Perhaps when people moan about having to wait for the police or an ambulance they could take a moment to think what we are actually up to?! Right, onto the next one!


  1. Sad thing is you might have been needed somewhere else! :-( And what would have happened if the police hadn't been there?

  2. Same old stuff you would think these numptys would get as bored as we do


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