Wednesday 11 July 2012

Just like a taxi

"47 year old male, fainted"

To most people, a '47 year old male, fainted' would mean exactly that. A 47 year old male who had fainted. A faint, or what we call syncope or a transient loss of consciousness, can have a number of causes. They vary from prolonged standing and hot environments to sudden standing and anxiety. A faint can last from a few seconds to a few minutes. This guy hadn't fainted, that I was sure of before we had even started driving. Next to the address was 'O/S' which means outside. In the text about the faint it said 'lying on grass' and it was 11:30pm. It was also called by the infamous 'passer-by' who shockingly was no longer on scene. In my experience, 47 year old men don't faint at night on grass! The 'fall' onto grass due to excess alcohol! 

Sure enough, sat on the wall with an FRU was our patient, heavily intoxicated. There had been no 'faint' just a stumble into a bush! He was drunk but still able to walk with a little assistance and able to answer the ll questions asked to him. He didn't know where he was so after checking him over we agreed to take him home as long as there was someone else there. He told us he lived with his parents and that they were in. The guy was quite rude and dismissive but I didn't think the hospital would appreciate his presence and I didn't want to be responsible for letting him try and find his own way home drunk. As much as we are NOT a taxi, this seemed the simplest option and would prevent a hospital visit and more ambulances called by the lovely, caring passers-by. 

We headed off for his home address while I was doing the paperwork. Whilst I wrote and asked questions he was starring around the back of the ambulance and started chuckling.

"If you look at it, this is just like a mini-cab that I don't have to pay for isn't it?" *laughs*

I stopped writing, my head remained totally still and my eyes raised up slowly from my clipboard and fixated on his grinning face. In my most sarcastic of voices I replied:

"Yes, we are JUST like a mini-cab" 

He laughed again...

"So is this all you do all night long?"

"Yes, pretty much" *biting tongue*

"Seems like a waste of money, is that what my tax goes on?" *laughs*

"Yes, it is a complete was of time, money and resources" 

The irony of the conversation was, sadly, completely lost on him. I looked back down at my clipboard and asked for the phone number of his next of kin. He chucked his phone onto the bed and told me it was under 'mum'. I pressed the green 'phone' button to turn the screen on and it brought up his list of recently dialled numbers. At the top of the list... 999.

"So you phoned the ambulance?"

"Yeah"

"So you did know where you are?"

"Yeah"

At that moment, the back door swung open, we had arrived; he got up and staggered out.

"This isn't my road"

"Yes it is"

"No it isn't"

"Yes it is"

"No it's..."

The front door of the house we were parked outside opened. It was his dad. 

"Oh... it is my house"

He staggered off down the garden path, into the front door and straight past his parents, who obviously wanted to know why there was an ambulance outside.

"Your son is drunk, he phoned an ambulance and lied so he could get a lift home, so here we are, bringing him home"

Pleasantries were exchanged, apologies were given and feeling cheated and disgruntled we left. I suppose we could have taken him to hospital, but to what end? Waste their time for a while and cost more money? We could have left him where he was but if we had and he had been hit by a car, who would have been blamed?! What can we do?! How can we get around this?! We didn't know he was the caller, we didn't know that he knew where he was, we didn't know he was playing us until it was too late. We can't charge him. We can't report him to anyone. Seriously, what can we do?! People joke about us being a big yellow taxi but we are! Clearly! Call 999 when you're drunk and you'll get a lift home. It makes me so angry but what can I do or say? Nothing.

27 comments:

  1. Seems mad that there can't be a charge for inappropriate use of the ambulance service.

    must be so demoralising :-(

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  2. Why can't you charge him? you have his address, his number and his name. I'd be sending a bill out for wasted time.

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    1. I suppose there is a fear of putting of people who do need an ambulance. I agree though, id charge!

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  3. If it's not possible to charge people, I wonder whether a standard letter could be sent, saying how much an emergency ambulance costs per call on average, plus FRU if one is sent, and how many 999 calls came in to Control whilst that ambulance and FRU were committed to the job? Also include a list of local taxi companies, maybe...

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    1. Just thinking further - and slightly dafter - if all ambulances were licenced as taxis as well, then you could charge taxi rates - plus the unsocial hours, puking in my cab, taking me off the "rank" charges etc

      [:->

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    2. Good idea! Though that will also tell the time wasters and lazy people exactly what to say to get a quick ambulance!

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    3. Haha! would we all have to do 'the knowledge'?!

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  4. With utmost respect to Ella and her colleagues , until the powers that be in the service do something , nothing will be done .

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    1. Exactly! Until someone has the balls to say NO to people nothing will happen at all!

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  5. Your blog is interesting, but you cannot write for toffee.

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    1. That comes across as if you state it as fact when really it's only your opinion, one you're welcome to but one obviously disputed by all who do enjoy reading Ella's writing. Who wants to write for toffee anyway, cake maybe...

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    2. I'd write for coffee! I may have a slight caffeine addiction though.

      I love Ella's blog, tis one of my faves because of her writing style, which is humorous and human. Hard to find that nowadays.

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    3. What was the purpose of your comment? To upset me? Wind me up? Insult me? I write for me, not for toffee as you so kindly put. I don't advertise myself as a scholar of literacy, I just write a personal blog for me and anyone who likes it.

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    4. Anonymous : says it all , really .

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  6. I like it... A lot.
    Your writing style leaves nothing to the imagination and your brutal honesty and openness is something i wish more people would possess!
    If you ever stop writing this blog you will have a whole bunch of unhappy readers.
    Keep up the good work.

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    1. Thank you very much. Really appreciate that x

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  7. Ella, your blog is a realistic commentary of your job and the situations you find yourself in. I don't know in what style 'anonymous' wants you to write in but he/she is just as able to start up their own blog should they find fault in yours. I am 100% behind charging inappropriate calls. Times have changed, we as a service are busier - much busier - and it needs to be addressed. If we're considered responsible enough to administer drugs that can kill if misused, we can definately work out which jobs should be chargable.

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    1. Thank you very much! Really appreciate it!

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  8. I don't even want to waste breath on 'anonymous' - about as much of a waste of space as the subject in this post. Stuns me how rude people can be, did their Mothers never tell them 'if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all'. I freaking love your blog, keep up the good work. x

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  9. I read in a book, probably written by a nurse, of a 'casualty' that, 'unfortunately', was taken to the 'wrong' hospital. After due checks, he was discharged. He then had to get home (no out-of-hours service to home, I think). Sad!

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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