Wednesday 28 March 2012

Nice Try

"25 year old female, a tad disillusioned but fighting back and feeling generous"

It's been the best part of a week since I last blogged, which as my regular readers will know, is a long time. This isn't because I have nothing to say or write about, I do, but a few things happened which led me to step back and ponder. When I started blogging, I did so as an outlet; an outlet for pent up feelings which I wanted to get out. Some were frustrations, some celebrations and some simply anecdotal but most importantly it was for me. I said from the outset that I have always been the type of person that questions right and wrong. Be it politics at local level to government policy, or patient behaviour to staff attitudes I will always ask questions. That is just my nature. I don't care if people don't agree and I don't care if people don't like what I have to say, or how I say it.  All I wanted to do was vent frustrations, share experiences, provoke debate, and educate people as to what life is really like on the road AS I SEE IT. That is what a blog is. It's personal.

As far as I was concerned, and to a point still am, the blog is going well. A lot of posts have indeed created debate, shown some home truths and rubbed a few up the wrong way. Last month, in what was the highlight of my newly found world of blogging; I received nominations for EMS Blog of the Year. For the first time in a long time I was proud of myself. I felt I had achieved something from nothing. Not an accolade but recognition from people who read my ramblings and it was touching to say the least. I had no expectations to be shortlisted and no expectations whatsoever to win. It was just nice to have my blog mentioned with some very well known, established blogs. Unfortunately, this public recognition brought the detractors out of the woodwork. I received nasty messages about my blog and was basically told I have no place in the 'blogging community'. As the competition went on I began hearing whispers via Twitter that a number of people were talking about me behind by back. As childish and playground like this may seem it was true. I was sent copies of messages, screen shots of conversations, the content of which was bringing my professionalism into dispute. Accusations of breaching patient confidentiality were mentioned, and as untrue as it was, it had the desired effect. 

I spent a number of days trying to write posts, but as I did, rather than writing for myself like I had always done, I found myself writing to please others. I started second guessing everything I wrote and my posts felt forced. I began to resent my blog. It was doing the complete opposite of what I had intended it to be. The added anxiety I was feeling about possible repercussions of these accusations caused my already sleepless nights to become pure insomnia. For that reason I closed my laptop and gave twitter a wide birth. I always said I'd blog for as long as I enjoy it. Well, certain people took that enjoyment away. I didn't know if I would come back to it. It kind of felt a bit tarnished. That was until a very close friend gave me a good old fashioned telling off. She told me in no uncertain terms that I cannot let these idiots win. I cannot walk away from something I've worked so hard at and what means so much to me. 

There will always be bullies; there will always be people who don't like me, no matter what I do. I can't change that, but so what? If you don't like my blog, don't read it; if you don't like me, unfollow/block me; if you have an issue with what I have said then say it to my face. Failing all that; be a coward, bitch about me to others, leave anonymous comments and messages, I don't care. I'm going to carry on writing for me and anyone who wants to read it. Don't like it, jog on!

I think this is also a great opportunity to thank all my readers for the support you have shown me over the past 6 months. It's so nice to hear the positive feedback I get and this compels me to do more. As a token of my appreciation I'm giving away 5 x Diagnosis: LOB mugs.

To enter the competition all you have to do is:
  1. Click the 'Join this site' button on the right of this page and do just that.
  2. 'Like' my Facebook page (if you have Facebook)
  3. Tweet the following if you have Twitter. 
'I've just entered @diagnosislob March competition. Have you?! If not, get involved. You've got to be in it to win it!'

Once you've done the above, leave a comment on this post to tell me you've done so with your name, email address or twitter name. Each entry will be given a number and then the winners will be picked out by a random number generator on 4th April.

Thanks again for all the kind messages of support, all the nominations I received and all the votes I was given. It meant a lot. Good luck and happy hunting!

Ella x


  1. Keep the blog going Ella , love reading it . :-)

  2. @pheonix_rising_28 March 2012 at 12:24

    sod em ella you write fantastic blogs,thy're only jelous :o)

  3. Keep going Ella! Xoxo

    Posted and retweeted! :o). I hope I win! The boys will be jealous!

  4. @yellow_van_man28 March 2012 at 13:24

    Know exactly how you feel Ella. Chin up old bean.

  5. I've entered Ella. @wilkotwig

  6. blogs are great heartfelt & true
    I go on the standard if needed would I want that person to treat 1 of my family - never met you but from what I read you would be on the list of yes please

  7. keep it up Ella - dun all the requs

  8. Great blog! I entered @halloikbenwill

  9. Glad to see you back blogging :o)
    As an ancient member of EMS, it's nice to see some young pups still remember that the patient is the priority - your blogs reflect that & your caring nature :)
    Keep up the good work!!!

  10. Hi Ella!
    I have joined, liked, tweeted and commented :)

    Great blog - been following for a while now :) keep it up!


  11. Ella, Your blog is great. As well as being entertaining, it has also helped me to rationalise some of my EMS experiences.

    Entered @Martin_Papworth

  12. Hi ella, love the blog. Just entered the comp @reckydecky1989

  13. Done it!!! Already liked your Facebook page ;) does that earn me an extra brownie point? Lol x
    @999TraumaAngel :)

  14. Keep going ella @lilpingu999

  15. Done all 3 hope it gets you some new reader! @pixie_toes x

  16. Glad to see you back blogging!
    All done!!

  17. I think your blog is fab (as you already know!) so stuff them. Some people will always have something negative to say but i'd be happy to have you come to my aid if I was ever in need. Too many people are in our industries to earn an income rather than because they actually care about other people! I'd be proud to have one of your mugs ;) @ali_bumgo x

  18. Your blog is your absolute right to vent and write what you need to write; it always represents the patients (those that actually require proper help not timewasters) accurately and discreetly as well as providing humour, encouragement and an important insight in to the struggles and nature of the service, some people don't like that but it really doesn't matter x p.s still think the original title was a good one ;) @bookwormmummy

  19. I have seen blog post and i am appalled Ella that other people can and have been so vile,so cruel and spoilt your enjoyment of blogging,not only that but how damm f*#%ing selfish too!!!! I am so cross that you have been subjected to hurtful comments,that's not fair just but sadly it does happen,whether it be in the work place,school yard or otherwise. I am disappointed not to be seeing your blog again,i for one (and i do not believe i am on my own sayin this) Will miss it. I have enjoyed immensely your comments,your thought provoking words and your stories. . . . . Of which i can relate too some and i laugh out loud knowing its not just me having experienced a similar thing lol.
    Above all Ella,take care and Thanku for the time taken to blog. . . . . . I Will miss diagnosis lol. XX

    1. I'm not going anywhere!! You must have missed the bit where I said I will continue!

    2. Haha thank goodness!!!!! Yeah missed that bit. . . . . Late job,skim reading and was so Grrr at the thought i wouldn't be seeing your blog anymore! Sorry but YIPPEE! Haha even missed the mug comp. . . . . Like i say long day! X

  20. I've tweeted and joined...keep on going matey, don't let the muppets get you down! You've got to get me one of those mugs, if nothing more than for the Sh*ts & Giggles.


  21. Ps. . . . . Have tweeted. #Beanstalktam
    Would love a mug! X

  22. For one of the few people brave enough to say what everyone is thinking... keep going. People dislike success in others, only because they aren't brave enough to try themselves!


  23. Tweeted & joined (@drew_DH1)

    Glad to hear that you're continuing. There are some sad, sad people out there! It's refreshing to see someone who speaks out and tries to inform & educate people - without dressing things up!

    Keep it up!


  24. Done and done...from someone who works with you guys a lot, I know what pressure you're under, why you need to vent, and also know what many stories you have to tell..whenever I'm on a job with you guys I always ask the crew if they've had any juicy or just interesting shouts...I'm nosy that way. keep writing the way you always have, cos that's why I read your blog...
    x @yvon_gib x

  25. DONE! Keep writing my days would be much less interesting without your blog :)

  26. done! keep up the good work, I allways enjoy the stories. @sneakysquirrel

  27. Keep it up! And sod em all! If they can't say it to your face, then it isn't worth hearing, and they aren't worth worrying about!

  28. I'm a blogger, and you definitely are one of us. Can't expect it to always fall on the right ears, and if we like it, we won't always say, however those who generally don't like anything, will always say so.
    The comp is shut, but this is an amazing blog


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