Tuesday, 20 March 2012

I'm Lovin' it!

"41 year old female, collapsed"

Sometimes there are those days where everything goes wrong. Sometimes there are those days where everything goes right. Sometimes there are days where everyone is rude. Sometimes there are days where everyone is bizarre! Today was one of those days. I can't quite put my finger on what it was about most people I saw, but it was just odd. The locations were all weird, the circumstances for illness or injury were abnormal to say the least, the dress sense of people were extrovert and the patient's behaviour in general was well.....just bizarre!

We headed through the lunchtime traffic and pulled up outside McDonald's. This is where our patient was supposed to have collapsed. This is where she was supposed to be unconscious. We headed in with all our kit to be greeted by a member of staff. 

"She's over there" he pointed rather sheepishly....

"There?! The one sitting at the table eating?!"


We wandered over slightly bemused as to why we were there and why she was showing no signs of collapse or indeed any signs of illness.

"Hello there, did you phone for an ambulance?"

"Do you mind? I'm eating"

"OK but you have phoned for an ambulance so we want to make sure you're OK."

With that she took another bite out of her Fillet-O-Fish and began chewing whilst starring directly at me.

"Can you stop eating please so we can find out what the problem is?"

(Whilst chewing) "I'm not going to ask you again, I'm having my lunch, I'll come out and talk to you when I've finished, now stop pestering me"

I made another few attempts to reason with her but, alas, they were in vane. We took the kit back to the truck and waited, watching her through the window. I wasn't happy leaving until we had checked her over in case she had been unwell. After watching her eat her second Fillet-O-Fish she got up and walked over to the ambulance. I went and met her at the side door and she climbed on board.

"So what is the problem today, why have you called an ambulance?"

"I'm feeling better now, can you just drop me off at my hairdressers, I have an appointment at 2pm"

Now it was my turn to stare. My jaw dropped to the floor and I'm sure one eyebrow raised itself independently to my hairline. 


"The hairdressers. I have an appointment."

"I'm afraid we don't offer that. If you are ill we can take you too hospital. If you don't want to go to hospital I can refer you on to your GP, but if you are not ill I am certainly not taking you to your hairdressers. That is a totally inappropriate use of an ambulance."

She just looked at me, nostrils flared and a real look of disgust on her face. She picked up her bag, swung the door open and walked out. It took a moment to take stock of what had happened. I wasn't even angry! I just shook my head and laughed! What can you do?! Like I said, it was one of those days!


  1. I have only just found your blog, and I cannot for the life of me remember how I did! It is a funny, serious heartfelt piece of reading, and that is from the first few posts I have read... looking forward to reading more!

  2. Classy customers eh? Beggars belief sometimes Ella. X

  3. oh my LORD!! the NERVE of some people!!!

  4. Isn't calling 999 for a hoax a criminal offence? This should be one for sure! She deserves a police warning for that kind of crap.

  5. Christ on a bike - some people need to take a good look at themselves & get a grip!

    Who does that?

    Good one you for taking it it in stride, though - I guess you can consider it your bit towards Care in the Community outreach, as it sounds like she wasn't quite all there.

    Personally, I'd have been dead tempted drive off & leave her munching on her Fillet O Fish! :)


  6. Deffo a case for forced sterilisation!!! ;)

  7. I was just shocked people still buy the fillet-o-fish!!


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