Wednesday 2 November 2011

A Feline Frenzy

"Sick cat, feeling suicidal, wants to kill herself, caller states she is hitting and trying to hurt / kill the cat"

Where do I start? Obviously, there is an issue as to who the patient is? Is the call taker talking to a cat? If so the the call taker needs to be seen.  Is the cat sick? Is the cat suicidal? If so, how is the cat intending to kill herself? If the cat didn't call then why is the caller trying to hurt / kill the cat who is clearly already sick and suicidal? Or, is this an assisted suicide case? Is the caller trying to help the cat end it's suffering? Or, is the caller suicidal because her cat is sick? But if the cat being sick has made her suicidal then why is she hitting the cat? Are we going to walk into a feline bloodbath? Will the cat have taken an overdose? Will cat and caller both be dead on a bed resembling a scene from Romeo and Juliet? There are so many questions and we haven't even arrived yet.


When we did arrive, full of uncertainty and intrigue, we were met at the door by the caller, not the cat. She was a large lady, with hair resembling 'Doc' Brown from Back to the Future! She was panting and sweaty. It transpires that she is suicidal because she can't catch the cat. The cat was under the bed, hiding from woman who appears to be suffering 'general mentalness'. The cat was sick, the cat isn't sick, but was just sick. On the kitchen floor to be precise. The caller has since been trying to catch the cat, to hurt / kill it for being sick. As she has been unable to catch the cat she is now feeling suicidal. This cat has caused a lot of problems.

So, what do we do? The patient won't be reasoned with. As far as she is concerned the cat needs to die. She doesn't think she is being irrational, in fact she doesn't understand why we won't assist in the 'kitty carnage' she has planned. This my friends, is mental health at its very best. We can't leave her, the cat will die. We can't take her, she has capacity. So all we have left was a sectioning. She has said she intends to kill herself if she can't kill the cat. We have a duty of care to her. And maybe the cat too. I'm not sure on that. Jokes aside, when talking about anything other than the cat, she was rational. In fact, she seemed normal, say the word cat however and all hell broke loose. Images of Tom and Jerry repeatedly sprung to mind. After much faffing and many wasted hours the police eventually managed to convince her to come voluntarily. I'm sure the cat smirked as she was led out of the house. How bizarre!

3 comments:

  1. Hi Ella, Love it , is the cat not well? suicidal.kitty carnage. Been reading some of the medical blogs on the WWW.Started on medics999 now reading yours. Interesting stories. You wake up and think what will i be doing today or where in some crazy situation. I have to say that like teachers, nurses , police and yourself being front line services are under appreciated and like in your posts get loads of abuse.

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  2. Hi Ella, Love it , is the cat not well? suicidal.kitty carnage. Been reading some of the medical blogs on the WWW.Started on medics999 now reading yours. Interesting stories. You wake up and think what will i be doing today or where in some crazy situation. I have to say that like teachers, nurses , police and yourself being front line services are under appreciated and like in your posts get loads of abuse.

    ReplyDelete
  3. lmao - sorry, diagnosis of 'general mentalness' got to me, in a good way. Pleased the cat wasn't suicidal anyway.. keep up[ the good work !

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